Baby's first words

My friend Mary's one-year-old girl knows over 30 words already. Hooray Gabby!

Her daycare center even gives out flashcards to help with word comprehension. But I'm a little concerned about the instructions for parents on the back.

Actual cards:

Bread
-Eat some bread! As you enjoy it, talk with your child about how the bread tastes and smells. Yum!

Blackbird [really?...couldn't just start with learning "bird"?]
-Sing a song of sixpence! Sing your favorite song about birds to your child. [I had to stop and think if I knew any songs about birds. It's really not a common topic for songs nowadays. Maybe Justin Timberlake should bring the bird-song-back instead.]

Pie
-Bake a pie with your child. Your child will love helping you stir the ingredients together! Be sure to do the actual baking yourself. Let the pie fully cool before serving to your child.

It's Halloween! Free Candy!

Hershey's Kisses - any smaller and they'd be chocolate chips
Tootsie Roll - any bigger and they'd resemble Mr. Hankie
Pez - because nothing says "yummy" like the regurgitated contents of Spider-Man's disembodied head
Life Savers - because nothing says "yummy" like a miniature reminder of nautical disaster
Slurpee - drinkable sugar.  Brilliant!
Laffy Taffy - chewable sugar.  Brilliant!
Big Red - Wanna kiss a little longer?  Try spitting out your gum first.
Peanut Butter Cups - Two great tastes that taste great together.  Unless you're allergic to peanuts, in which case one of those great tastes might kill you.
Milk Duds - don't taste milky
Whoppers - contain no ground beef
Gummi Bears - had their own Saturday morning cartoon.  Just like Mr. T, Hammerman and Rubix, the Amazing Cube.
Candy Corn - To paraphrase Lewis Black: "All the Candy Corn in the world was made in 1911, and it's been recycled ever since."
Bit-O-Honey - Only tastes like it was made in 1911 and recycled ever since.
Candy Corn (again) - because "Candy Wheat" just doesn't sound right

Thanks Phil!